8
GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE
FEBRUARY 26, 1999
SPEAK OUT
Yes, Virginia, gay men do have children
by Jon and Michael
Galluccio
It was the spring of 1982 when we fell in love at Glassboro State College, now Rowan University, in New Jersey. Jon, 18, was a freshman majoring in speech/theatre communications and Michael, just 20, was a sophomore majoring in advertising.
It all began in our fraternity house, the Tau Kappa Epsilon or "Teke" house, as it was referred to. Fate had brought us together through Jon's pledging and Michael's hazing. Jon jokingly says that the best revenge to Michael's pledging antics was to marry him, so he did.
It should have been the happiest time of our life. We were blissfully filled with true love for the first and only time of our lives. Instead, it was the saddest time. We came out to our families and were greeted not with open arms but with fear, anger, sadness, confusion
Jon and Michael Galluccio at the beach with Madison, in Jon's lap, and Adam.
and rejection. Our parents took it hard. There were a variety of objections but one statement was consistent:
"Oh my God, this means we will never have your grandchildren.”
To us, this us was an accepted fact: Gay Men Don't Have Children. It seemed there were many prices to pay for honoring our love for one another. This was one of the heaviest. But it was our choice, was it not? Of course not!
Jon had dreams of fatherhood and service to his country since he was a child, maybe even as early as his Cub Scout days. Michael too had spent the better part of his youth working and caring for and teaching children. It took more than ten years before we each could accept the fact that we were people just like everyone else.
Gay men do have children. For us their names are Adam, Madison and Rosa.
In 1995, we moved from our fabulous duplex apartment off Central Park on the Upper West Side of Manhattan into a modest stucco home in the suburb of Maywood, N.J. We were on our way to fulfilling our dreams of a family, dreams which once were shattered.
Shortly after moving in, we applied with the state to become foster and adoptive parents. Nine months later, after being screened, investigated, trained and inspected, we received a call from the child placement specialist with the Division of Youth and Family Services of New Jersey. This call, three days before Christmas, would change our lives in more ways than we could have ever predicted.
Adam was 22 months old. He weighed eleven pounds. He was testing positive for HIV, tuberculosis, and hepatitis C. He had a hole in his heart, a cardiac arrhythmia and an enlarged liver. His lungs were damaged due to meconium aspiration syndrome at birth and RSV, a pneumonia-like illness, when he was a month old. He was also still going through severe drug withdrawal. In his system at birth were crack, heroin, methadone, marijuana, nicotine and alcohol.
It was one of the happiest days of our life. By the time we nursed him back to health he had become free for adoption, and so we filed to adopt. It was then and only then did our homosexuality become an issue. The fact that we were an unmarried couple is what caused concern with the state. New Jersey did not allow joint adoptions by unmarried couples. We were in a "Catch 22." In our state, or any for that matter, we could not become a married couple.
We challenged the state policy. It was discriminatory and clearly not in the best interest of our child. On June 19, 1997, we filed a class action lawsuit against the State of New Jersey to have the policy stricken from the books.
In the meantime, the state saw us fit enough to place another child, Andrew, born to similar circumstances, with us. He was a foster child that we would, in five months time, return to live with his grandparents. On the day we surrendered Andrew to his grandparents, we retained the ACLU to fight our case to adopt Adam in earnest. Oddly enough, it was also the day the state would call to tell us about our little girl
Madison. And with Madison would eventually come her older sister Rosa.
To date, we have won all our battles with the state. Adam was legally adopted by both of us on October 22, 1997. On December 17, 1997, the State of New Jersey settled the class action lawsuit in our favor, making New Jersey the first state in the nation to have a statewide policy that put homosexual couples on equal footing with married couples in the matter of adoption.
Whether its public speaking or the written word, we are committed to helping one another with issues of coming out. But most of all, we believe we are continuing to fight for the best interests of our children, all of our children.
►
Gay men can and do have children and you too can make a difference in the plight of America's most vulnerable children— children "lost in the system."
We urge you to stand up to legislation that would forbid this. Legislation forfeiting the rights of these vulnerable children to secure a good loving permanent home. Stand up for your right to be that home. You may not be ready to parent today, but if and when you are ready, you will be glad you stood up now.
Above all, these children will grow up knowing that the gay and lesbian community fought to protect and nurture them, when others only used them as political
pawns.
Jon and Michael Galluccio live with their children in Maywood, New Jersey. They can be reached via e-mail at jon@galluccio.com, or at the web site http:/ /www.galluccio.com.
Have the GAMES CHRONICLE
Delivered Right to Your Door
26 Issue's for $30.00 or 52 Issues for $60.00
If you'd like to receive the Chronicle first class mail, $43.00 for 26 Issues gr.$86.00 for 52 Issues".
Address
Chronicles arrive in a plain envelope. Enclosed is my check for $
for
Zip
Send
with payment to: Gay People's Chronicle, P.O.
ves
Cleveland, Ohio 44101 ------
GAN LES CHRONICLE
Volume 14, Issue 35
Copyright © 1999. All rights reserved. Founded by Charles Callender, 1928-1986
LISHIN THE BAY
PUBLIS
#0
PEOPLE
KWIR
A DECADE
SCHRONICLE
Published by
KWIR Publications, Inc. ISSN 1070-177X
Publisher: Business Manager: Managing Editor: Associate Editor: Senior Staff Writer:
Reporters & Writers:
Martha J. Pontoni Patti Harris Doreen Cudnik Brian DeWitt Dawn E. Leach
Mubarak S. Dahir, Beren deMotier, Bob Findle, John Graves,
Mark J. Huisman, Kaizaad Kotwal,
M.T. Martone, Tim Nasson,
Jeffrey Newman, Harriet L. Schwartz, Kirk Read, Eric Resnick, Bob Roehr, Rex Wockner, John Zeh
Art Director:
Production Assistant:
Photographer:
Advertising Manager:
Sales:
Christine Hahn
Patricia Hughes
LeeAnn McGuire
David A. Ebbert
Timothy Peterson
National Advertising: Rivendell Marketing
212-242-6863
David A. Ebbert 800-426-5947
The Gay People's Chronicle is dedicated to providing a space in the Ohio lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender community for all of its members to communicate and be involved with each other. This means that every Chronicle, to the best of its ability, will be equally dedicated to both men's and women's issues, as well as issues that affect the entire community. This balance will provide lesbians and gay men with a forum to air grievances and express joys.
The Gay People's Chronicle is copyrighted under federal law. Any reproduction of its contents is prohibited unless permission is obtained.
Any material submitted for publication will be subject to editing. The Chronicle cannot guarantee return of any such materials unless accompanied by a stamped, self-addressed envelope.
The Gay People's Chronicle is not responsible for claims made by advertisers. We reserve the right to reject advertising which is unsuitable for our publication.
P.O. Box 5426 Cleveland, Ohio 44101 216-631-8646 or Toll Free: 800-426-5947 Fax:216-631-1052
E-mail: chronicle@chronohio.com Website: www.cleveland.com/community/gay
Community Forum
The Chronicle encourages everyone to write and express your opinion about the community or the paper. Please, however, keep letters constructive, and avoid namecalling and personal attacks. Please be brief. We reserve the right to edit letters. We will print your name unless you specifically ask
us not to.
Letters must include a street address and phone, for verification only. They can be sent via U.S. mail, or fax to the addresses in the masthead above, or by E-mail to letters@chronohio.com.
Subscriptions
Subscriptions are $15 for 13 issues, $30 for 26 issues (half year) or $60 for 52 issues (full year), sent third class in a plain envelope. For faster first-class delivery, add 50¢ per issue to cover extra postage: $21.50 for 13 issues, $43 for 26 issues, and $86 for 52 issues.
Mail check or money order with your address to Chronicle Subscriptions, P.O. Box 5426, Cleveland Ohio 44101. To use Mastercard or Visa, include your signature, card number, expiration date, and your name as it appears on the card.
Deadlines
The Gay People's Chronicle is published every Friday. Display ad and article deadlines are 7 to 8 days earlier. Call for specific dates. Calendar, Classified and Personal deadlines are shown in each of those sections.
Obituaries
Obituaries, written by spouses, family, or friends, may be placed in the Chronicle free of charge. They can be sent by mail or fax (see above for address); but we can't take information over the phone. Include your name and phone, so we may contact you. A photo can be included; please send a self-addressed stamped envelope if you want it returned.
Milestones
Tell everyone about your union ceremony, arrival of a child, or other milestone of life, in the Chronicle! Announcements should be 200-300 words, and can include a photo black and white or color is okay. Photos will be returned if a self-addressed stamped envelope is included. Mail, fax, and E-mail addresses are above; include your address and phone so we may contact you.